This is the Reason You Don’t Feel Motivated

Ever found yourself lying in bed, promising to start fresh tomorrow? Exercise more, eat better, be more productive. So when the time comes, why do you freeze? Because change doesn’t feel good. We’re conditioned to think that happiness and comfort are the ultimate goals. The problem? Nothing worth doing or that truly creates change feels good in the moment. It’s uncomfortable, messy, and sometimes downright scary. And that’s okay. It’s the reflection afterward and the sense of accomplishment that feels amazing.

The field of positive psychology discusses the idea of thriving and flourishing frequently, but thriving doesn’t start with warm, fuzzy feelings. It starts with discomfort. The first uncomfortable thing to acknowledge is that change doesn’t come from your head. It doesn’t come from thinking about doing something and making plans in your head, it comes from action. This is where the gap lies for many of us – between the intellectual desire to change and the emotional readiness to dive in. Most of us wait for that elusive moment when it “feels right.” Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

We’ve been sold the idea that happiness and feeling good should be our default state. It’s why we gravitate toward Type 1 Fun activities that feel good in the moment. Think massages, naps, or takeaway meals. They’re easy to justify because they provide instant gratification, but they don’t lead to growth.

Contrast that with Type 2 Fun. If you’ve ever spent a day hiking on your own or with us, you know what I mean. Maybe your legs were burning with fatigue, your heart felt like it was going to leap out of your chest, or you had a concern in the back of your head that you weren’t going to make it. Add in some unexpected bad weather or a couple of wrong turns, and it’s a recipe for discomfort and a complete lack of fun. However, once you reach the summit or reflect on the day, the feeling is incomparable. That’s the payoff of Type 2 Fun – a deep, lasting sense of accomplishment that Type 1 Fun can’t touch.

So why do we struggle to move from “wanting” to “doing”? Because we’re waiting for it to feel good. We’re waiting for that motivation to just suddenly appear, despite it never rearing its head at any other point. The next uncomfortable truth to admit is that you don’t need to feel motivated to start. You just need to start. It’s going to feel hard or even scary but that’s the point. Discomfort is the small price to pay for a more fulfilling life.

This year, I decided to tackle some of my own comfort-driven habits. The snooze button used to be my best friend, but I challenged myself to wake up on the first alarm. Ouch. Those first mornings were brutal and I definitely wasn’t perfect right away. But now? I love the extra time in my day. I also committed to booking gym classes, no longer drinking at home, and leaning into the discomfort of saying no to instant gratification. Each change felt awful at first. But over time, the rewards of more energy, clearer focus, and a deeper sense of control over my life have been worth it.

What I’ve learned in my years of adventure and attempting to improve my lifestyle is the hardest part is always the start. The moment you take that first uncomfortable step, you prove to yourself that you can do it and momentum builds from there. So stop waiting for motivation or for it to feel good and just start. Start slow if you have to, but start.

And when it gets tough (because it will!) remember that thriving isn’t about staying comfortable. It’s about leaning into the hard stuff, embracing the discomfort, and knowing that the best Type 2 Fun things in life often come wrapped in challenges. It might not feel good now, but when you feel the benefits, it will all be worth it.