Scratching the Itch You Can’t Name

There’s this itch. A vague, low hum under the surface. You can’t name it, and maybe you’ve never even tried. But you know it’s there. It reminds me of that U2 song, I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. That lyric has stuck with me for decades. Because honestly, haven’t we all felt it? That quiet, aching sense that we’re meant for something more, even when life looks “fine” on the outside?

It’s not that things are bad. It’s just that something’s missing. We try to fill it with more – more success, more rest, more wine, more doing, more not-doing. We chase it with self-care, with spa days, with numbing scrolls through our phones. We say we’re tired. We say we need peace. And we do. But even when we get it, that feeling still hums beneath it all.

People ask me all the time, “Why adventure? Why get uncomfortable? Isn’t rest enough? Isn’t it risky?” Here’s what I think: Adventure is the thing that scratches that itch. Not because it’s about danger or pushing your body to extremes, but because it’s one of the last spaces where we allow ourselves to truly step into discomfort. And I don’t mean physical discomfort. I mean the kind of emotional and mental stretch where your heart and head are fully in it. Where you show up not knowing if you’ll succeed. Where there’s a real risk you might not. How often do we do that anymore?

Even when we think we’re taking risks like applying for the job, saying yes to the new relationship, or signing up for the course, we tend to hedge our bets. We wait until we’re pretty sure it’ll work out. We don’t step until we’ve all but guaranteed the landing. But what if you did something where the odds were 50/50? What if you joined an adventure that scared you just a little? What if you trusted yourself to be in it, not because you knew you’d smash it, but because there was just enough doubt to make it meaningful?

That’s the itch. That’s the thing we’re looking for. And yeah, maybe it’s not as life-threatening or heroic as climbing Everest, but stepping out into the unknown for a day hike, a weekend away, or a walking escape with strangers might just be the bravest thing you’ve done in years. Adventure fills a gap we’ve forgotten how to name. It calls to something deep in us — something that remembers we were never meant to live this safely, this comfortably, this… small. We were wired for challenge. We were made to grow through effort.

And the science backs it up. Again and again, evidence shows that stepping out of our comfort zones, connecting with others, and engaging in physical challenges in nature enhances wellbeing — not just momentarily, but deeply and sustainably. But this evidence is rarely spoken about in the mainstream. The dominant language is still telling us to be calm, safe, and kind to yourself. All of that matters. But I think we’ve confused kindness with avoidance.Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is say yes to something hard. Something unknown. Something you don’t know if you’ll nail.

Because that is where the fire is. That’s where courage grows. So no — I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. But every time I get out there, say yes, and move toward discomfort with a full heart, I get closer. And maybe, so will you.